A guide to a life skill I should have mastered years ago.
<aside> 👋 You may have landed here from somewhere other than my Twitter, in which case, it’s probably polite that I introduce myself. I’m Claire, a data practitioner, turned technical writer, turned product manager, that sometimes writes niche content about random life topics, including cooking, and sending perfect intro emails. Thanks for popping by 🙂
</aside>
I’ve always been a messy cook. I grew up in a family where if you cooked, someone else had to clean, and every time I made a meal at home, I’d leave behind a mess of dishes to be done by one of my sisters. When I moved into sharehouses, I admit that I was the bad housemate, and would seek out housemates that were tidier than me to try to keep me honest. When I lived on my own, I’d let dishes pile up for days and finally get around to them on the weekend in a marathon cleaning session, relying on my dishwasher for the heavy lifting.
All that changed in 2021. Last year, I was living with someone who experiences anxiety in untidy spaces, and has also previously worked as a professional cook. That combination meant that he is immaculately tidy in the kitchen (and an excellent cook). He cleans as he goes, and by the time we would sit down for dinner, all that was left to wash up were the plates we were eating off.
He knew I was a messy cook — before we moved in together, he’d come to my apartment early and clean my whole kitchen for me while I finished work, and it was this wonderful act of love. But when we moved in together (to an apartment without a dishwasher!), it turned out that my messy kitchen lifestyle led to tension in the relationship, and eventually, arguments.
So, to avoid arguments, I learned to be a tidy cook.
Now, to be clear, this was not a good reason to learn to be a tidy cook, in fact it was a fucking terrible reason (and a huge red flag in the relationship), but nonetheless it’s something I’m really proud of having changed for myself, and it took a lot of work to relearn a lifetime of habits in the kitchen. When I visited my parents last month in Sydney (for the first time in two and a half years), they were astounded by the difference.
So how do you do it? How do you retrain yourself to be a tidy cook? (Hopefully absent any anxiety about causing an argument.)
I’d say around half an hour earlier since you’re going to front-load your cleaning and prep. You’ll get that half hour back later because you won’t have to clean up after cooking. If you can’t start earlier (because of work schedules), consider prepping the night or morning before, or at lunchtime if you work from home.
That’s right, clean up before you cook. Do a load of dishes, wipe down your countertops. Start clean, and finish clean.
Of course, once you build the habit of being a tidy cook, the pre-cook clean will take a few minutes to do since dishes won’t have built up, and might just be a case of putting away any dishes that were left to dry after a previous load.
This is going to be important if you’re doing dishes frequently (especially for those without a dishwasher). When I first watched my ex wash up, I couldn’t believe how much water and soap he used, but boy oh boy was he efficient. Here’s what I learned: